satira: Oh, You Think This Is Absurd?

Remember when Hilary Clinton talked about her hot young campaign workers and told Oprah Winfrey that all you have to do is squeeze their dicks and how much they love that? Or that time when Margaret Atwood was musing about how men become completely uninteresting after reaching the age of fifty? I mean, we all know about gravity and those ball sacks dangling down to the knees. Who the hell wants to put up with that? Have you heard that Ellen is back on the comedy stage, by the way? I think that is totally okay. Because come on, spreading her legs and showing her cunt to her co-workers wasn’t really that bad. It’s not like it was rape or anything! Not like Beyoncé, who drugged her under-aged background dancers and then raped and peed on them. I think it’s great that Frank Ocean regrets that he collaborated with her. Better late than never.
Another thing that is great is that Rafael Nadal now has the official permission to wear those shorts on the tennis court. If he could only keep his temper in check a little bit better. I mean, all that yelling and anger is really not suitable for a man. Speaking of sports and aggression, did you hear that domestic violence in the UK increased by almost forty percent during the World Cup in women’s football? Yeah. Women get so frustrated if England lose that they start beating up their men. Some said that it would be good if the players and FIFA addressed this, but come on … they can’t be responsible for that, right? They are athletes, not politicians! And it is hard to be a woman these days. It’s not strange that some women get frustrated when men don’t show them the respect that they deserve. I mean, there you go, buying those dicks flowers and taking them out to dinner and everything, and then they won’t even lick you!
This whole society has really gone too far. If a woman tells a guy that he’s pretty when he smiles or if she just accidentally brushes up against him on the street, they start screaming harassment. As if we wanted to fuck those ugly assholes anyways. They should be happy when they get a compliment!


Denice thinks that there should be a law that says that everybody has to read Gerd Brantenberg’s ‘Egalia’s Daughters’. She also thinks it’s both terrifying and tiring that it was written 42 whole years ago.


© Sabrina Wegerer

© Sabrina Wegerer



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